


Hom0w-30

by girlycards



Category: Hellsing
Genre: Competency Kink, Crack Treated Seriously, I’m going to fucking hell, Modern AU, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Retail AU, Retail Therapy, it's literally exactly as the description reads, no one asked for this, super vaguely based on a real-life interaction, this is so trashy, this is so weirdly specific
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23473126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlycards/pseuds/girlycards
Summary: Integra works at an auto parts store and meets a car-savvy Seras. She knows about her car and wow… Integra has never rendered more stupid and gay.
Relationships: Integra Hellsing/Seras Victoria
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Hom0w-30

**Author's Note:**

> My previous experience of working in an auto care department at a major retailer is showing. I will probably get interviewed for that show of “my strange addiction” after writing this, and I’m at peace with it. All of Hellsing is incredibly dramatic, angst-filled, so I feel like a mediocre retail au is in order! Also, my desire to fill the sertegra tag.

Integra hated multiple things about her job: battery acid that ruined her pants, the smell of tires lingering on her no matter how often she showered, used motor oil that ruined her shirts, and most irritatingly, customers with stupid questions. She had already been bothered by more than one customer for tire information who did not know what tire size they required. Or customers looking for capacity specifications who did not know their engine size or at least the number of cylinders.

She dumped the books back in the drawer. Customers came in waves that often ended in all the different books being sprawled across the counter.

 _What battery goes in a 2004 Infiniti?_ What kind? _I don’t know. (_ 'And I don't care')

 _How much oil do I need for a civic?_ What year? Engine size? _Umm…_

 _Do I have to change the oil filter too?_ Yes.

 _Can I just change the oil filter?_ Absolutely not.

Integra upheld the attitude that if you didn’t know, perhaps you shouldn’t do it. Or just should not own a car. She sighed, sitting up from the chair from behind the counter. At least the swarm of customers had dissipated, leaving her to return to putting misplaced oil filters back to their home. She slowly moved the filters around, lining them up. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a young blonde trying to get the single quarts of Mobil 1 Advanced Fuel Economy 0w-30 from the top shelf. Did she not see the “Ask an associate for help” sign? Integra audibly sighed, setting the filter down on the shelf.

“Do you want help?”

“Oh! Yes. I need one more quart,” she gestured to the 5-quart container and the single quart she had managed to grab from the tall shelf.

“Don’t do this,” Integra stepped one of the lower shelves, and reached for another container, handing it to her. She stepped down, looking at her again, “Do you need an oil filter?”

“Yes. It’s for a 2009 Toyota Camry.”

“Engine size?”

“3.5 liter V6,” she said, “I usually get a Wix filter... But you guys don’t sell them.”

 _A Wix filter?_ She has taste, Integra thought, briefly impressed. “We have K&N, Fram…”

“Do you have the Mobil 1 filter?” she said, oil in her arm as Integra flipped through the book to the proper page.

“Yea- Yes. M1C-251… A,” she said, setting the book back on the holder in front of the filter selection. Not only was this girl pretty, but she knew how to take care of her car, and Integra was _impressed_. Integra grabbed the filter from the upper shelf, handing it to her.

“Anything else?”

“No,” Seras glanced down at the tag on Integra’s vest, “Thank you… Integra.”

Integra smiled slightly, “You’re welcome. Do you want to umm… check out?” She was rendered mildly stupid still by being impressed by the attractive girl, who was still smiling at her.

“I’ve already checked you out,” Seras said in a voice so soft Integra caught half of and was still not sure how to reply to. So instead of replying, Integra simply nodded, turning around and walked back towards the counter.

Seras found Integra’s facial expression mildly amusing and tried not to hold back a chuckle, following Integra with containers of oil in one arm, and filter in her other hand. She placed all the items on the counter, looking at the serious-looking Integra as she scanned her items.

“Are you a new associate back here?”

“Technically, no. I don’t usually work this shift.”

“Oh.”

“I usually close. Your total is $55.62.”

Seras nodded, pulling her card from her wallet.

“Card?”

“Yeah.”

“Insert the chip.”

Seras put the card in, and the machine beeped irritably.

“Try again. The machine is possessed by a demon.”

“Somehow I don’t doubt that,” she said, putting the card in, and this time, the register spit out a receipt and beeped at her to remove the card.

“Your receipt is in the bag with the filter,” she said, handing the bag with the filter and two quarts of oil, and the bottle of oil to her.

“I’ll see you… next time I need oil.” _When had they decided to start hiring stupidly attractive people in long sleeve button-ups?_ She grabbed the items from Integra’s hands, briefly touching them. She looked back up, holding the items still. Integra was still looking at her intently.

"Uh-huh."

Seras's smile was bright as she walked away, bag in hand. And Integra for once hoped this customer would check out her groceries at this counter, too.


End file.
